The biggest battle that every individual goes through, without even realising it is this…
The battle of Want vs Should.
What you want vs What you should.
What it also means is what’s right for you vs what you would like to happen irrespective of it being right or wrong for you.
For example, you should exercise, but at this moment, you want to continue scrolling on your phone or go out and socialise or watch something on your laptop.
You should eat right and not have the unhealthy processed stuff that doesn’t benefit the body, however at this time, you want to have the packet of chips or have some cookies because you feel hungry right now.
Another example is, based on what’s right for you, you should schedule an hour or so everyday to read or learn something new, but because of whatever reason, you want to use that time to consume something entertaining and push the should to later.
As you’d notice with these micro examples of life, what usually happens is our wants take over our shoulds, and every time we push the should, we basically postpone what’s right for you and what you should actually do for yourself, in order to be better, in order to grow, in order to improve yourself.
The ‘what we want’ basically becomes a quicker, lazier way of making decisions which temporarily makes you satisfied vs taking the efforts and doing ‘what you should’ because that would take more out of you.
There are hundreds of examples of ‘want vs should’ which, if one reads, would be like a pin to the heart because that would make you realise the things that you do wrong, irrespective of knowing the outcome of it.
Every time, anything is put under this perspective, it’s an eye-opener for someone who would then probably understand what they should do vs what they want to do.
This applies to micro as well as macro situations in life, it’s only up to you to choose when you’d like to apply it and whether you choose to be on that path or not.
When you tell yourself, that I’ll do this ‘later’, what are you actually telling yourself?
In simple terms, it means that you don’t want to do that something right now and you’ll do it at a later point of time.
Although, if you break it down, it means, that certain something isn’t a priority for you to take care of it right now.
Well, in that terms, what is the priority of that thing on a scale of 1 – 5? 1 being the highest and 5 being the lowest.
Well, if its anything beyond a 3, then the probability of you taking on that thing at a later point of time seems unlikely.
A simple reason is because, one, its not that important to you, second, on a day-to-day basis or a weekly basis, there will be something that is going to replace things on the priority scale of 1 and 2.
On the basis of which, things beyond 3 aren’t going to be taken care of at all.
What’s the alternative?
Either take on only one or two things at a time, so there’s no point of pushing something to ‘later’.
Or being well-organized to a point that you complete that entire list of 1 – 5, irrespective of how many other tasks or things come on to your plate.
In this fast-moving life of ours, where we are chasing things, running after one thing and the next, we forget about ourselves.
Who’s going to care about yourself?
It is utmost necessary to take time out of your day, every day, to focus on your self – mentally, physically and spiritually.
It’s always you first and then everything else. Start your day and end your day with caring for yourself – and once you do that, notice the difference in your day-to-day.
You’ll be able to think differently, have a different perspective of what you want vs what you have, how would you like to give back etc – the entire game changes once you focus on your inner self.
You know the thing about shoes, right?
All of us wear shoes, but the difference is that we wear different pair of shoes – different sizes, different designs, different brands and of course, comfort is different for all.
What does that tell you though?
Can you wear the same shoes as mine? What if it doesn’t fit you though?
In the same way, our journeys are different too – our paths are different, our goals are different, our thoughts are different and that’s the beauty of life.
When everything is different, there’s no reason as to why anyone’s journey or anyone’s accomplishments should be compared with someone else.
Let’s try focusing on wearing our shoes for once and not comparing them with someone else’s.
When you focus on the road ahead, the journey always seems longer than usual. Your mind is filled with doubts and you tend to question your steps.
On the other hand, when you focus on how far you’ve come from before, it fills you with positivity and optimism, you see it as a stepping stone.
That’s what the life’s journey is about – you always go forward – you want to rise higher than before – be better than before – and it’s a step by step process.
Everytime you tend to realize how far you’ve come, but when you think of the future and how unpredictable it is, it makes you anxious though.
“Always focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go.”
You are the ruler of your destiny – you get to decide when do you want to start your journey, or if you’d like to change your paths and begin the journey for another dream.
Goals change, dreams change, people change.
What if you were doing something for a long time and suddenly you decide that your interests lie elsewhere.
Does the “society” stop you from doing that?
There’s no age limits as to when one should start, when one can change their plans, when one can start planning a new dream and focusing on that.
As C. S. Lewis has said, “You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream”.
Whatever makes you happy, you do that – doesn’t matter how young or old you are – there are no society benchmarks to conquer.
I legit sucked at writing anything. My marks in school clearly defined that. Whether it came to writing a formal letter to our School Principal or caption writing for the clients, it was difficult to cope with, every time.
However, when I knew what to write, along with a lot of practice and mistakes, you can improve at anything and I improved at this.
After 250+ blog posts, various articles and ‘n’ number of posts created on my various profiles, I’ve finally overcome it.
Next on my list is to overcome my fear of looking at the camera lens and speaking!
All you require is a bit of confidence, practice and not to look at others and get worried with what they are doing! Also, remember that they started way before you did.
Is there anything that’s on your mind?
Whether you have a vision for the future, or you have set a massive goal for yourself, or you’re doing anything out of the ordinary – it always seems a bit difficult at first, in your head.
But, do you know that it always seems impossible in other people’s minds – very rarely would you get a supportive opinion, in situations like these.
Usually, its statements like, “it’s not possible at all” or “why are you wasting your time on this?”
As Nelson Mandela clearly states, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
It’s only when the job is done, when the mission is accomplished, does it seem possible to others.
Always remember that you need to have that will-power, that mindset, that hunger within you to get it done – you cannot expect it from others.
You do you!
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha
Mindset is Everything.
Whether it’s your routine, or your work, or your personal life, or your goals, your dreams, everything revolves around your mindset.
You need to have the right kind of mindset to move forward in life, to set the right rhythm amongst all the phases of your life, to be happy/ satisfied.
That process starts from your thoughts. Your thoughts define everything in your life.
What you think, how you think, why you think – its all important – it sets the baseline – it defines your actions and your executions.
Ultimately, you become what you think.
Which is why it’s said that you need to have control of your mind, control of your thoughts, control of that thought structure – Mindset is the most important thing in your life.
Your actions in the present decide your future.
What you decide now is what you will become in the future.
Every decision matters.
It’s not about succeeding in every decision you take, but being satisfied with your decisions because they will form your future.
What you want to be or what you don’t want to be is up to you – you decide that!
No one else has that power, even if you think otherwise!
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
All of us have our journeys, our goals, our path on which we are currently walking! There’s something on our minds that we want to achieve – either an accomplishment of a task or checking off a goal.
Although, when things don’t work out, we are disappointed, we are in deep thoughts of the reasons why it didn’t work out, we ponder over our decisions and if we could do it all over again!
However, what if life had other plans for us? What if that path wasn’t the right one for you? What if things not working out was a stroke of luck?
That is what Dalai Lama said, “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
Of course, you can’t sit around and think of the ‘What Ifs’, but you can have a positive perspective over life that maybe things didn’t work out for the right reasons and maybe you need to walk another path to reach where you want to be.
To clarify, you might know your true calling but the path you thought was right may not have been the right one, which is why things didn’t work out the way you expected them to; and now it’s time to revisit that and think how you could do it differently!